For immediate release
Air Conditioning Declared Essential Service
Office of the Press Secretary — 08 Sept 2026, 11:05 ICT
Following review, President Snude has determined that air conditioning is not luxury. It is civilization.
Thirty-five degrees constitutes very poor climate management. The Administration expects indoor temperatures at the Executive Residence to remain compatible with executive rest, diplomatic dining and serious thinking.
Any attempt to switch the unit off during a presidential nap will be treated as a hostile act.
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